I have for you in my inaugural Smorgyboard post, a monologue I wrote about three years ago. It was inspired after a conversation with a friend about a girl. He said one line that stuck with me and then this came out. I kinda like it.
Anyway, wanna hear it? Here it goes:
You wanna know something? I’m in love! Yeah, ME. In love. I never thought it would happen. I don’t know that I’ve ever been in love, ya know? I’ve been in like. I’ve been in lust. But I never thought I’d ever fall in love. I always felt like that Monkees song. You know the one that goes: “I thought love was only true in fairy tales. Meant for someone else, but not for me.” Well, I guess I was wrong.
I always wondered how people knew they were in love and they would always tell me, ‘Oh, you’ll just know.’ I thought they were crazy—‘You’ll just know.’ But, it turns out, I’m the crazy one for not believing them. I just knew. Like right now, I feel a little light-headed. My stomach feels like it’s trying to jump out of my body. My palms are sweaty and I’m hot and cold all at the same time. I figure I’m either in love or I have the flu. Frankly, it doesn’t matter which one it is as long as she’s there.
What can I tell you about this girl? There are no words. Honestly. I don’t think words have been invented yet that describe her. She’s…well, she’s…perfect. I mean it. Perfect in every way. She’s so hot. No, she’s more than that. She’s beautiful. You know the difference, right? A girl who’s hot is one you want to spend the night with. A girl who’s beautiful is one you want to spend your life with. A girl who’s hot will rock your world. A beautiful girl will change it. That’s what happened to me. From the second I saw her, my whole world changed. From the instant she walked into the room, she made me want to be a better person.
There’s never been anyone like her. Ever. This girl…excuse me…woman, is the beginning and end of my world. It’s like something’s been missing from my life and I finally realized that she was it. What’s funny is, I didn’t even know I was missing something. It’s like she walked into my life and my soul came alive.
Why did this happen? How did this happen? Is it fate? Luck? Timing? Is it a part of God’s plan? I don’t know. Maybe I’m over-analyzing it. All I know is that that girl—woman—she’s the one. The one and only.
I can just picture the life we’re gonna have together. House, kids, dog—the whole nine yards. People are going to write stories about it. Maybe a movie. Who would play us? Never mind, it’s not important. I just wish you could see her and meet her and see everything that I see. Feel everything I feel. My heart’s beating so fast I think it’s gonna explode. That would suck because I wouldn’t get to see her again.
Maybe it is in God’s plan. Is it selfish to think that maybe God created the two of us specifically for each other? That God himself wrote out this love story in some big cosmic book, like millions of years ago and it’s just now playing out? Wow. That makes me a little humble to think that this woman lived her whole life not even knowing that it was leading her here. To me. Does that mean that all the stuff I’ve said about her, she’s saying about me? I can’t even imagine. It’s too much. With my stomach trying to leap out and my heart about to explode, the last thing I need is for my head to cave in.
I guess the best way to say it is that I’m her and she’s me. Does that make sense? It’s like we’re connected in such a way that we’re one person. I think I’m getting too deep here. I’m in love with her. No, I love her. No, she’s my world and I’m hers. Beginning and end, remember?
The only problem is that she just walked in and we haven’t even met yet.